Yesterday's events hit home for me. What I thought were Jonah's cries from upstairs, were those from a neighbor three doors down. Screams of realization that her husband had passed away echoed through our neighborhood. The man who passed was a police officer by day, father by night, and no older than Patrick and me. From what I understand, he had endured surgery a few days back. At this time, the cause of death is unknown. I stood and watched from my front door window. A fire truck, ambulance and several police cars took up most of our culdesac. Standing there, I couldn't help but feel utter sadness. To think of how it must have felt to learn her husband was gone is daunting. All I wanted to do at that moment was to make sure Patrick was okay, hold my baby tight, and thank God that He keeps my family safe on a daily basis.
As I watched, fear forced itself to sink in. Reality inevitably sank. This could, in fact, happen to me. I know that our neighbor's death may not be related to his line of work, but it's possible. That said, Patrick's job is life threatening at times. There are a lot of factors in Patrick's job that I purposely try not to think about. There are things I do not know of, and choose not to know of. It was hard not to compare an event like this to events that I could endure. I honestly do not know what I would do, or how I would act. Such as our neighbor's, I am convinced time would ultimately stop and my world would be upside down. Even today as I see news crews in our culdesac and more police cars, I think of our neighbor and all the thoughts, fears, and worries of, "now what?" that she's experiencing. Our thoughts and prayers continuously go out to the family.
Patrick came home last night and we carried on as normal. Our nightly routine of feeding Jonah dinner, play time, bath time, and bedtime came and went. But unlike most nights, I didn't take our routine lightly. Quietness set in, and I found myself wanting to reflect on this normality. I knew I no longer wanted to take these normal moments for granted. I snapped a few photos, and some video of Jonah during bath time.
In reflecting on yesterday, I don't have much more to say, other than what I have already touched on. Daily routines like those of last night will come and go. Reality will ever so often sink and I'll be forced to view "what if" situations. With that all said, I do know that the tragedy that occurred yesterday gave me a reminder to not take life for granted.
Enjoy the video of Jonah's bath time. I see innocence, playfulness, and most important--life.
