I have realized I need it. Judging from its habitual reputation, it’s no surprise that this realization is a constant one. Clearly, not every day is perfect. Let’s face it; there are days that are undeniably difficult. Downright hard. We all face them. We all can relate to that one bad day where everything is up in shambles, and the domino effect is in full motion. The house is a mess, the constant cries for attention, or something to drink, ‘my blanky’ , or ‘my toy!’, the car won’t start, you are late for swimming lessons, and dinner..what’s for dinner?! And the only thing besides a desperate cry to God that helps me through is the simple love and comfort of those in my life—my family.
There are moments where I think of the ‘what ifs’ and the
unknowns. I allow myself to face the
fear of uncertainty for just a split second.
And the question that is always dead center in front of me is, “what if
I didn’t have my family?” What if that
love, happiness, laughter, and comfort that I live for went away. It leaves me breathless.
Family understands hopes, frustrations, aspirations,
struggles and fears. Family offers to
listen to our rants, give a hug, send an inspirational text, post that reassuring
emoticon on fb to say, ‘hey-I get ya, I’ve been there’, make a joke, and
ultimately pick us back up and provide a happiness to move forward. Each day is a gift God graciously gives, and
when those days aren’t perfect in our eyes, God graciously grants us another
gift-a presence of family to help us learn and move forward.
Sure, this past year has brought obstacles and I survived
the first six months of this year without my husband. But the idea that I still held that security,
despite it being a text, or voice rather than a physical comfort, gave me hope.
This drive to persevere through the
months ahead was a direct reflection of the existence I call my family. It gave me something to work towards and look
forward to. I knew he’d be home sooner than later, and I dreamt of spending our
family vacation together on the NC beach.
I imagined Jonah building sand castles while my mother-in-law told me
stories of when she was younger with Patrick.
I dreamt of lazy Sunday afternoons with nothing to do but be together. I smiled at the thought of seeing Jonah’s joy while
playing with his daddy at the park, and feeling that embrace of my husband
after being apart for far too long.
With all that being said--A while back a friend of a friend
posted a picture of a staircase wall project she had been working on. It displayed an ancestry branch, each part of
the branch marked photos of relatives and kin. This image was the perfect interpretation
of a family tree. It shed light on the importance of heritage. The photos aligned the staircase; giving the
image such depth and the flourished branches a beautiful paralleled
meaning. It was inspiring. I had that moment of realization that said I
want to do that. I need to do that. I
need to do it to physically acknowledge what this past year has taught me.
It was one of those nights where I couldn't sleep and this
moment of realization turned into a moment of proclamation. Several days were spent pondering and tweaking
my vision. I spoke with relatives, ordered
photos and spent countless hours at the frame shop tweaking and configuring the
perfect photo mats and frames. Many
emails were sent to the vinyl branch decal artist, and our living room floor became
a canvas for frame mapping on more than one occasion. This past weekend the
postman delivered my branch and with the help of my amazing husband, my vision
came to life.
Family is what makes me go. It’s what I need and live for.
Whether it’s a simple hug to get me through the afternoon, the vacation planned for next year, the imagery of a larger family, or
a glance on the family wall staircase, it all generates a common motion; an
extension of growth.
