-- my birthday gift --

It's my birthday tomorrow.  It's kind of crazy how as you get older birthdays become a whole new meaning.  I've thought a lot today about past birthdays.  When I turned 10, I remember meeting, who is now my dad, Mike at the Konditorei (a local desert/coffeehouse in Salem). My gift was a balloon with a stuffed animal inside it.  I thought that it was the coolest present.  I would never have guessed the plan that God had for me and my life after that birthday.  When I turned 16, my friends and family hosted a surprise birthday party.  I remember stopping home to get something my friend, Candace, absolutely needed before we headed out that night.  The house was pitch black.  To my surprise there stood all of my friends and family.  At 19, I celebrated at Red Robin with new friends from SPU.  When I turned 23, I flew home from NC to spend my birthday with friends and family.  I remember on my 27th birthday it snowed.  I remember slumber parties, a new pager(yes..I said pager..got it when I was 15. I thought I was so cool), inheriting my mom's toyota, and the ever present thought of my birth mother each birthday.  I can remember moments of each birthday, that's why we celebrate them--To remember them by and to reflect on each passing year.   

It's the eve of my 29th birthday.  I don't know if it's because I've been reflecting on past birthdays or the aftermath of those reflections that have given me an abundance of gratitude as I type.   Tonight I went in to Jonah's tears--fed him some milk and just held him.  I couldn't help but be so thankful.  I cuddled him and thought how blessed I am to have an amazing family.  I remember the day he was born.  I've posted how special that day was, and is to our family.  As I ponder on my birthday tomorrow, I cannot help but think of what it must have felt like to be my own mother.  I imagine her holding me, just as I held Jonah tonight, enjoying the gift God had given her.  The gift of being a mother is what God has given me this year.  Motherhood has given me the chance to reflect on life and the joys that God brings us. 

This year I know will have special meaning.  Even though it's not the big 3-0...(I truly don't know how I feel about that birthday..luckily I have a year to ponder on it), I think it will have special meaning.  Hopefully the day, just in itself, will stick out in my mind in later years. This year I am a mom.