more {sunny} reflections

The weather was perfect yesterday--Spring was written all over it.  A cool breeze and sun filled sky made itself present in the small town of Puyallup.  Unlike the weather our state has experienced the past several months, it was a breath of fresh air when I packed Jonah up in the car.  I smiled, knowing the photo shoot in a short hour at the park would result in some beautiful, sun filled, photos of my newly turned 2 year old boy.  After a quick stop at Starbucks for an iced (yes, I indulged in an iced beverage yesterday..the weather was THAT good) latte, we headed down the strip of Meridian.  Funny how circumstances can drastically change.  I noticed a shift in the ordinary.   The radio turned off.  The dash board gages all went to a flat zero.  I found it strange that just yesterday I had filled up our gas tank, only to see the marker at “E” a mere 24 hours later. I pulled into the nearest parking lot and our car stopped.  It died.  I tried to restart the engine and it wasn’t budging. Perfect. An innocent toddler sat behind me, wondering the reason for my frantic demeanor as I tried to find the road side assistance number.  After a few phone calls later, I sat in our car with Jonah and waited for our neighbor to come pick up Jonah and for the tow truck to arrive.  A few hours at the dealership, I sat with a quote of nearly $700 in repairs.  My status on facebook said it all—I am pretty sure this instance tops the list of ‘joyous things to throw my way while Patrick is gone’.

Coincidently, it had only been a few hours before that morning, that I found myself thinking  of my recent post-‘twenty nine reflections’.  I am pretty sure I have this year’s ‘30 things I’ve learned’ already fulfilled.  I sit and reflect on all the instances and things I have had to experience the past 4 months while Patrick is away and smile, knowing I have learned a lot about myself.   More importantly, about the things that matter most.  What to sweat and what not to sweat.  I have learned a lot about naivety and the drastic level I carry. I've learned when I am stripped of what I feel necessary to survive, I am stronger.  Humorously, I’ve learned about the anatomy of a toilet.   And more recently, if your car occasionally makes the sound of a popcorn maker near the shifting unit, the words ‘voltage’ and ‘alternator’ will most likely be included in the problem diagnosis.  I’ve learned more on the importance of family and sacrifice these past few months and I have seen the net of a support system I own in action.  It may take the instance of family dropping their plans and driving 3 hours to hold down the Hancock fort while I attack a vicious stomach virus to make me aware of it, but when viewed with a clear lens, my net of support is a strong one-- one which I have learned to humbly, and with a grateful heart, take advantage of.   

I am not going to deny the presence of frustration and annoyance yesterday afternoon.  Frantic pleas of desperation were aimed at Jonah to calm down while I made drastic attempts to resolve the situation at hand.  And I am pretty sure the consoling words of, “it’s okay” were not only for Jonah but for me.  If you happened to drive by the corner of 37^th Avenue and Meridian yesterday, I am pretty sure you would have witnessed first-hand the effects of a self-talking mother at its best.  It’s quite comical.

But despite the breakdown of our car yesterday, I think the curve balls and things I’ve learned along the ‘journey towards June’ have provided me a shield of armor against any thrown my way going forward.  And despite my frantic demeanor, I think I viewed the situation more differently than I would have otherwise.  It was more of a hiccup rather than a catastrophe—and another one of those things where I had to decide if it’s worth the sweat. Another opportunity to grow and add to that on-going list for the year.  I found myself saying things like, “this could be worse.” (those that know me understand that type of mindset, reluctantly, is not always in my nature).  And “at least it’s a sunny day”.  I saw myself finding joy amongst the hiccup.

My plans for a day at the park, basking in smiles and sunshine didn’t turn out as expected. But I am  pretty sure God wanted me to see and experience the sunshine in a different place yesterday--A place to reflect and see my own growth.  Guess that place just happened to be on the corner of 37^th and Meridian.